I love my penis,
I used to own the coolest looking air gun, this was before all the fuss over dangerous weapons in the UK. Not that you could do any damage with it of course, a point blank shot to my friends thumb resulted in him just laughing it off.
No, the real danger with this particular handgun was in the loading. It was a complex system of forcing the barrel up and over the front sight and inserting a pellet. Being a weedy chap I needed some assistance with the leverage, so I used to erm... hold the gun between my thighs and use both hands. Inventive yes but You can probably guess what comes next.
Yeah boy, one fateful night my hands slipped and the barrel came down on my penis with some nasty force.
To my credit I didn't cry, just let out a few odd squeaks. I didn't even notice the damage until my hysterical mates saw the blood. I ran home as my little fellah began to throb quite alarmingly and locked myself in the bathroom until the bleeding stopped. Told my folks I'd been mugged, gave the gun away and celebrated my next erection with a naked dance around the house, no lasting damage except for a tiny tiny scar which only close, close friends have seen.
Oh yeah, and my so called mates told everyone I'd "shot my nob off in a freak gun related accident." The gits.
(Suddenly, zebras Safe and sound for eternity, Wed 19 Jul 2006, 19:03, Reply)