SWMBO's parents are Francophiles.
They like all antique furniture - grandfather clocks, antique mahogany dressing tables and other such monstrosities. But especially French furniture. The following story is 100 percent true.

Anyhoo, a couple of years back, at the beginning of December, SWMBO's dad decided that he simply must have a Louis XVI style chaise longue.

"It will add a decadent feel to the living room", he argued, "It'll be very nice at Christmas time with a glass of claret."

Now, SWMBO's mother is of French descent, hence the Francophile wrong-ness. She agreed with the 'decandent' and 'christmas' mentality and enthusiastically allowed him a budget of £500 to make the hideous purchase.

Off to the antique dealers he went, he searched high and low, far and wide but alas, nothing suitable could be found.

I suggested he try FleaBay. "Good idea, Sir".

Within minutes, he had found the perfect chaise longue. Carved giltwood with gold leaf, burgundy upholstery, decadent looking - it was to be the perfect wine drinking chair. And the bidding had only reached £30 odd quid, although there were many bidders. With less than an hour to go!

"I'll have that" thought SWMBO's old man, "make sure that no-one else can outbid me" he hurredly proclaimed.

Gambling on there being a rush as the auction ended, he placed a maximum bid of £250, half of their budget, but easily enough to secure the nice new chaise longue.

Sure enough there was a rush. The bids flooded in, and SWMBO's elders just pipped it, paying a grand total of £253 (including the delivery charge of £5).

"Bloody cheap shipping as well, if I do say so myself" exclaimed an overjoyed SWMBO's dad. All was well, the house was to be a veritable palace with the nice new chaise longue installed in time for Christmas.

Roll forward, 2 days later, there was a knock at the door. A parcel was delivered. The parcel was unknown, but addressed to SWMBO's dad.

"Anyone order anything?" he enquired, showing the parcel to everyone. "This one's addressed to me."

"Nope" came the reply.

With a shrug of the shoulders he opened the small, carefully wrapped parcel.

Silence.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???!!!" he bellowed, red faced, as he presented a carefully wrapped antique chaise longue, with a certficate of authenticity. All very lovely, apart from the fact it was about 3 inches long, meant for a doll's house.

£253 for a small doll's house chaise longue. Should have read the item description properly, shouldn't you?
(Sir General ***WoW***, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:33, 9 replies)

This should win by
a mile, in my humble opinion - have a click for making me laugh like a mongtwat cunt-cobbler!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:38, closed)

Fucking Ace!
Pomposity gets its just rewards. :)
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:44, closed)

Pfft!
But at least as true Francophiles they'd probably spell chaise longue correctly. ;-)
( benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:59, closed)

Oops!
And 'Francophile'!

*Hangs head in shame*
(Sir General ***WoW***, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:47, closed)

That was not really a dig at your post (which I loved the thought of)
more at the English (chaise lounge seems to be an accepted and popular spelling, even though it's technically incorrect).
( benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 15:22, closed)

Mange tout, Rodders,
mange tout!
(Sir General ***WoW***, Fri 22 May 2009, 15:25, closed)

No slight on the telling
But am I the only one who felt they'd heard this before?
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:52, closed)

.
a story similar to this appeared on the Real Hustle
(treaclebriggs, Sat 23 May 2009, 11:26, closed)

Doesn't matter
Made me snigger.

(Is one allowed to say 'snigger' these days? Should it perhaps be 'snafro-caribbean'?)
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:53, closed)