Badly handled innuendo
I work part-time in the local old-mans boozer. One night I was in my usual position (sat on my bum on a bar stool awaiting instruction) when a middle aged gent entered the pub and approached the bar. Surveying our large range of draught bitters, he ummed and erred for a while before asking for:

'One of your handjobs please'

whilst making a pulling motion with his arm.

I know what he meant, but ended up wheezing with silent laughter, shoulders a-shaking, while having to deliver said 'handjob' ie. pint of bitter for those unfamiliar with the good ole British pub.

That should have been it, and I wish to god it had been, but when the hysteria began to subside I replied;

'I'm afraid I don't do those'

and then, for why I do not know, said;

'Oh, well, I do, just not in here'

When I saw the look of horror on his face, I realised I'd just told a respectable-looking, pillar of the community-type complete stranger, that I wank people off in my spare time.

Horrors.

First post - yay woo!
(G-Lo, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 19:31, 6 replies)

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What a brilliant way to drum up trade!



Erm, for the pub, I mean.

Have a click for the loss of your cherry in such an amusing manner.
(Rsoles, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 20:18, closed)

hmm
i prefer hand pulled myself u get better head :P



cudn't help my self :)
(R0z, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 23:45, closed)

*arf*
Good first post :) 'grats!
(kyoob, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 9:05, closed)

Ah, the good old wanker-handle
I try to never frequent a pub if it doesn't have at least one wanker handle.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:37, closed)

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Hats off to you my good man.
Perfect first post.
Hazzzah!!
(astrosinmyeyes is hoping Manson is released before, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 19:10, closed)

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Ahh, you B3tards aren't half as terrifying as your reputation suggests. Cheers for the replies!
(G-Lo, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 23:29, closed)