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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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Badly handled innuendo
I work part-time in the local old-mans boozer. One night I was in my usual position (sat on my bum on a bar stool awaiting instruction) when a middle aged gent entered the pub and approached the bar. Surveying our large range of draught bitters, he ummed and erred for a while before asking for:

'One of your handjobs please'

whilst making a pulling motion with his arm.

I know what he meant, but ended up wheezing with silent laughter, shoulders a-shaking, while having to deliver said 'handjob' ie. pint of bitter for those unfamiliar with the good ole British pub.

That should have been it, and I wish to god it had been, but when the hysteria began to subside I replied;

'I'm afraid I don't do those'

and then, for why I do not know, said;

'Oh, well, I do, just not in here'

When I saw the look of horror on his face, I realised I'd just told a respectable-looking, pillar of the community-type complete stranger, that I wank people off in my spare time.


First post - yay woo!
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 19:31, 6 replies)
What a brilliant way to drum up trade!

Erm, for the pub, I mean.

Have a click for the loss of your cherry in such an amusing manner.
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 20:18, closed)
i prefer hand pulled myself u get better head :P

cudn't help my self :)
(, Tue 17 Jun 2008, 23:45, closed)
Good first post :) 'grats!
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 9:05, closed)
Ah, the good old wanker-handle
I try to never frequent a pub if it doesn't have at least one wanker handle.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:37, closed)
Hats off to you my good man.
Perfect first post.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 19:10, closed)
Ahh, you B3tards aren't half as terrifying as your reputation suggests. Cheers for the replies!
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 23:29, closed)

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