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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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I used to work in Chicago
Before we all get very bored, and before rachelswipe's Wednesday starts to drag too much, I think it may be time for a fresh free-for-all of a thread. Much as I loathe the mentality of uni/college sports teams, I must concede that they are expert peddlers of puerile innuendo, and I did pick this one up from one such collective:

I used to work in Chicago,
An old department store,
I used to work in Chicago,
I don't work there any more

A lady came into the store the other day and asked for a Kit-Kat.
A Kit-Kat from the store?
A Kit she wanted - four fingers she got!
I don't work there any more...

...

A lady came into the store and asked for a German form of coal extraction.
A German form of coal extraction from the store?
A German form of coal extraction she wanted - Mein Shaft she got!
I don't work there any more...


And so on. You get the idea. Feel free to add your own. Or, feel free to ignore this post if you think the idea is pointless and entirely twattish.
Apologies for length, I just thought I'd try and inject a bit of life into what is shaping up to be a very dreary Wednesday for me.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 10:05, 8 replies)
A lady came into my store looking for an Oriental Seeing Device...
An Oriental Seeing Device from your store?
An Oriental Seeing Device she wanted,
My Japs eye she got!

I could go on. I was in the uni rugby team.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 10:41, closed)
*sigh*
A clever translator she wanted -
- a cunning linguist she got

A helicopter she wanted -
- my chopper she got

Some paper she wanted -
- reamed she got

etc.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 10:54, closed)
An arable crop she wanted...
rape she got.


Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. I don't even know if rape is arable...
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 11:06, closed)
Rape
Well, it's not dairy.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 11:53, closed)
Not strictly,
though milk may be involved. Of sorts.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 12:17, closed)
and there's more....
Carpet she wanted,
shag she got

Nails she wanted,
screw she got,

Rooster she wanted,
cock she got


Me? Ex Manchester Poly Rugby Club!
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 13:34, closed)
Oh, alright then...
A larger Kit-Kat she wanted,
A chunky she got.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:21, closed)
and
I always liked

My help she wanted, AIDS she got!
Earings she wanted, Pearl necklace she got!

Not a rugger bugger, just like drinking songs.

Have a click as Mein Shaft had me sniggering like a 5 year old.
(, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 17:29, closed)

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