My best mate
is definitely my dog.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:29, 5 replies)

DROP IT!

SIT!

GOOD BOY.

Now fucking stay. Over there. Way over there.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:30, closed)

Here in Mordor we have an "alternative" radio station called Xfm (it's not, it's just the latest guitar pop but anyway that's irrelevant)
They used to have a couple of morning DJs called Pete and Geoff, who were actually genuinely quite listenable and not annoying.

They used to play a game in the morning called "What's your dog called", in which the owners 'phoned in, and they'd ask them about their dog.

"So - what's your name?"

"My name's Sue."

"OK, Sue - so - what sort of dog is it?"

"A Heinz 57"

"OK ... and ... what sex is it?"

"Male."

"OK - and ... how old is your dog?"

"He's five."

"OK - a five-year-old Heinz 57 ... OK ... and ... is he a good boy?"

"'EES A GOOD BOY!"

"OK, Sue, so .... What's your dog called?!"

"He's called Steve!"

YAY! STEVE! STEVE THE DOG! *bells, whistles, applause, hammond organ*

You didn't win anything or get any tickets or anything.

It was the best radio game ever.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:57, closed)

Pete and Geoff used to be on Virgin 1215
They were very funny if memory serves.

There was a late-night DJ on there called Tim who eventually got fired because he had children ring up to play Swearing Hangman. Possibly my favourite part of his show was French Oral, where couples would ring up and one of them had to answer questions about France while the other one performed oral sex. It seems it's quite hard to keep your mind focused on the minutiae of French life in those circumstances.
(Eukanuba, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:57, closed)

That's right - I think they went to Virgin from Xfm.
French oral sounds marvellous.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:29, closed)

You know how to prove this?
Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of your car. After a couple of hours, open the boot and see which one is pleased to see you...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 11:32, closed)