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This is a question In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I've never been a soldier. I was an air cadet once, but that mostly involved sitting in a mouldy hut learning about aeroplane engines with the hint that one day we might go flying.

Yet, anyone who has spent time defending their nation, or at least drinking bromide-laced-tea for their nation, must have stories to tell. Tell them now.

(, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:26)
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Cadet Darling.
I'll never forget meeting Cadet Darling. I'm sure you've all seen Blackadder. You'll know the amount of fun that can be had at the expense of someone with a name like this. It didn't help his case that he was the reincarnation of Frank Spencer, completely gormless.

The week involved all kinds of amusement derived from giving him orders (I was a corporal, this was air cadets, I was GOD). "DARLING, GET OUT OF BED!" "sorry corporal". "DARLING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "sorry corporal". "DARLING, WHERE IS YOUR BERET?" "sorry corporal". You get the picture.

Then Darling's wallet disappeared. He assured me, and a few staff officers, that he'd searched ever inch of his kit and he was sure someone had stolen it. We got all the cadets to search the area and all their own kit to make sure it hadn't got there by accident. No sign of it. As none of the cadets were going anywhere and it was getting late, we told him not to worry and we'd sort it out in the morning.

In t'morning, we got all the cadets lined up for a last "are you SURE you didn't accidentally pocked it" type inquiry before we started shovelling shit in their direction. General "no" type reply, as cadet Darling staggers out of his tent having found it in the suitcase he swore he'd emptied twice.

"DARLING!"
"sorry corporal"
(, Sat 25 Mar 2006, 18:26, closed)

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