Negligent Discharge
Olly was great. He was a skinny little ginger bloke in his 40’s who during my time working for a high street bank was also in the same minority group as myself (we both had a sense of humour).

Olly had spent the first 14 years of his working life in the RAF, and by his own admission had never risen above the rank of “Admin Pleb”, however, despite only being an office worker he still had to go on live firing exercises a couple of times a year.

I asked him if he had ever been put on a charge. “Oh yes” was the reply. Apparently, just before one of these exercises they were all at attention in full kit being briefed in the presence of the CO. They were told in no uncertain terms that there were to be no cock-ups whatsoever.

It was at this point that Olly accidentally fired a round straight into the air. Cue everybody hitting the deck (and a few sphincters releasing) apart from Olly, who stood there with an apologetic look on his face.


Olly was great to work with. Our David Brent type manager called a meeting to get us to sign up for a sponsored parachute jump for a charity called “Winston’s Wish”.

Manager: “Now does anybody know what Winston’s wish was?
Olly: “He wished he had a parachute”

Fucking genius!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 27 Mar 2006, 11:39, Reply)