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This is a question In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I've never been a soldier. I was an air cadet once, but that mostly involved sitting in a mouldy hut learning about aeroplane engines with the hint that one day we might go flying.

Yet, anyone who has spent time defending their nation, or at least drinking bromide-laced-tea for their nation, must have stories to tell. Tell them now.

(, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:26)
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Captain *******
Due to the fact that this man is [remarkably]still alive and the fact that he scares the shit out of me he will remain anonymous, but anyone reading this from King Edwards School Birmingham CCF should know the legend by now...
This Captain was a Royal Marine in the Falklands War (and epitomises the Marine stereotype - about 5ft 2", harder than iron mans manhood etc etc)and has such annecdotes under his belt as the time he and his squad shot down a plane with small arms fire alone, but the most prolific legend is The Spoon. This story is told to all new recruits to instill the fear of The Captain in them, and goes a little something like this:
Said Captain and squad were low on virtually all supplies due to the sinking of the supply ship HMS Sheffield. so imagine their surprise when, while on a routine night-time recce (reconaisance) patrol, they stumble acros a base of about 300 Argentinian soldiers, with no sentries and all asleep. So here is the perfect opportunity to kill all the buggers that are going to kill you tomorrow because, unlike you, they actually have ammo! But of course, with about 10 rounds apiece and only a standard 8 man patrol they had no way near enough firepower to kill enough Argies to ensure an escape if the other Argies were woken. Well, our intrepid Captain looks about his person for a more stealthy/efficient weapon and realises that the only other instrument he has about his person (having come very lightly equiped for a recce patrol) is The Spoon that he always had with him for meals. Well, to such an inventive man, a Spoon is as good as a blade...
So, the legend has it, he killed (with The Spoon) every *other* man (meaning that the remainder would all wake up next to dead comrades), then in the morning popped over calm as you like, looked them in the eye, and asked for their surrender!
And so concludes the legend of Captain ******* and The Spoon!

as a footnote, the other officer leading our platoon would have got into the SAS had he not broken his leg on the final phase of the training. Needless to say its a rock and a hard place...
No apologies for length as the thought of The Spoon shrivels me...
(, Mon 27 Mar 2006, 22:31, Reply)

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