Zebras are arseholes!
I was on a safari in Southern Africa about nine years ago. Had embarked on a foot safari after been told a few terrifying bits of advice beforehand, such as:

1. If you see an elephant charge at you, run with the wind
2. If you see a buffalo, climb up a tree
3. If you see a lion (or T-Rex), stay perfectly still

So, after a largely uneventful day of safari, having spotted a few dull antelope types and not much else, we came across a field of zebras. About 40 of the fuckers.

I had previously thought of the zebra as a beautiful, majestic creature, and they were always great craic in the cartoons.

Not these guys. These guys were arseholes. It wasn't that they did anything, it was the look they gave us. Was the kind of arseholey, lingering "I'm watchin' you, cunt!" look the Tesco security guard gives you when you're drunkenly stumbling around the aisles at 4am on a Friday night, demanding that your smoked salmon and jelly bean craving be satisfied. You know the look.

Their heads turned and followed us until we left the field. Ice-cold looks on an otherwise hot day. I still feel their chill when I think of them.

Ever since I've hated all zebras; ignoring any sound reasoning that they might have for their suspicion. Poaching and human destruction of their habitat are not not good enough reasons in my book. Zebras are arseholes! FACT
(El_diablo_blanco, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 16:35, 4 replies)

i once got forced off a path by a gang/herd of zebras
they're cunts
( zulu eh?, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 16:58, closed)

They don't even have the decency to taste nice.
Sharp-suited cunts.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 17:00, closed)

Quote
""I'm watchin' you, cunt!" look the Tesco security guard gives you when you're drunkenly stumbling around the aisles at 4am on a Friday night, demanding that your smoked salmon and jelly bean craving be satisfied."

Yeah - I know the look. I got thrown out of M&S recently for drunkenly stamping on some potatoes. Not entirely sure why I disagreed with them, but I think that they must've insulted me in some way.....
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 22:32, closed)

M&S potatoes are next on my list....i think it's their smugness
(El_diablo_blanco, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 13:15, closed)