Christmas
Q: What's my favourite day of the year?
A: January 1st. OK, I've got a raging hangover, but even if I'm puking into an unflushed toilet full of Guinness shit, I'm still as far as it's possible to get from the horror of the christmas season, so I'm doing it with a smile...

Now, I know I'm not the only one to hate the commercialisation & pointless, enforced expenditure on ridiculous rubbish, nor to despise the mawkish, faux-Victorian sentimentality that other people, inexplicably, seem to find so alluring. Is it just me, or should it take more than a bit of cheap sparkly plastic and a few pathetic coloured lights to excite a fully-grown adult?

I also have kids, whose eyes I am prepared to make sparkle with gifts, games and glitter. And I am one who enjoys food and drink, often to startling levels of excess, so you'd think I'd relish the excuse for ludicrous levels of liquid lubrication and lubricious ladling.

But I still hate the whole fiasco with a passion that my wife finds frankly frightening. She's convinced that I must have suffered some childhood trauma -- buggered by a drunken, halitosis-ridden department-store santa, perhaps -- but if I did, it's well buried and I have no memory of it.

Nevertheless, every year around the end of August, when the TV companies and high-street stores start their annual bombardment of trite, sickly christmas promotions, I start to get a sinking feeling. By November I am insufferably grumpy, and have taken to muttering to myself and glaring at people for no reason. And when I hear the phrase "...A Feast of Family Fun, this Christmas on BBC1" I have to leave the room and breathe deeply into a paper bag for a minute or two.

As for christmas shopping, well all I can say is that it's a good job that personal weaponry is not legal here in the UK.

And have you ever tried to NOT "do" christmas? I attempted it, one year (before kids, of course). Starting around October, I repeatedly told friends and family not to get me anything, invite me to anything, or expect me to participate in any way. On December the 25th itself, I did the housework and ate fish and chips (which took some organising!). But the reaction from those around me was negative, to say the least. Apparently, it's compulsory. Funny, I don't remember signing anything, nor having two thirds of my cerebral cortex removed with a junkie's discarded cooking-up spoon.

OK, I think that's quite enough spleen for now. I'm going to go and think firmly about spring: flowers, bunnies, sunshine, la la la

/rant
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:19, 5 replies)

Haha
I have a friend whose parents and girlfriend were abroad for Christmas this year, so he ate takeaway pizza, sat around in his pants and played computer games all day.

I have to admit I was kinda jealous.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:22, closed)

Well
I can understand all hate of all the build up; but to not have it is shite. I lived in Japan and the unsaved heathens know little of Jesus or his fat brother Santa. The 25th is a work day. A young couple may go and have a nice lunch. You can give the odd card or two. The card will be looked on as a waste (as all card should). The TV stations will be awash with a tree, fake snow and awful roast dinner attempts.

BIG Department stores will be decorated with Santa's shite. But there are high odds of seeing the crucifixion of a Santa. So high hopes when shopping. A few days after the Japanese kick out a good very good new year party. Which is what they all enjoy. The poor sods may not be doing much for the next new year as you don't celebrate it when you've had a death in the family.

So in all enjoy it, when you don't have it, it kind of sucks.
(waxdart hello., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:44, closed)

Oh, don't even get me started on christmas cards
My ex's family used to send cards to thank them for the cards. Then a card to thank them for that one!

*grinds teeth & mutters*

[edit] Crucifying santa, you say?.... I likey!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 12:06, closed)

Good on you
This year after 25 years of spending time with the 'rents I decided to have an alternative Christmas.

Went down to Brighton to meet some mates, got wasted on LSD and some Green and played Black Ops Zombie from 8am till 10pm.

Best.
Christmas.
Ever.
(Helo, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 13:51, closed)

I'm totally with you here, mate.
I hate Christmas, for much the reasons you've already stated.

It's the fake niceties that really get me. The forced parties and gatherings.

I find myself required to attend with people who i chose not to socialise with all year round, so why in December?

My sister, and others, say "Bah, Humbug" to me. Really pisses me off. I'm being mocked for not wanting to spend copious quantities of money and time on people i don't really like. I can't really afford it, and life's too short.

Can't wait for the New Year to come - get the decorations down, wife. Another Christmas over, thank fuck
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 14:23, closed)