Heroic Security Guard
First post… Meh!

Leaving a party in a block of flats I accidentally clipped a plastic drainpipe backing out of a parking space. The security guard must have seen in on his CCTV monitor as he came running out frantically waving his arms screaming at me to turn my engine off and get out of the car! Not wishing to cause a scene I did as I was asked and got out to take a look at the “damage”. There was not a scratch on the pipe and the little wall bracket thing that holds it has a very slight crack in it, hardy noticeable. I dismissed the damaged and told the dude not to worry about it, would he accept this? Would he bollocks!

He went crazy, stamping his feet demanding my name, address, credit card details, driving licence and started to ramble on about me causing £££ worth of damage. I could not belive we where looking at the same drainpipe. Alarm bells where going off in my head and I decided giving this guy any personal information was a BAD idea so I just shrugged and started to get back in my car.

To my utter disbelieve the guy (at least a ft shorter than me I might add) positioned himself between me and my car door shouting “Just you try and leave! Just try and leave!!” in a very strong Nigerian accent. At this point I couldn’t contain my amusement any longer and I started to laugh at him. I walked around to the passenger door, the guy followed round on the opposite side of the car. I quickly changed direction to go back to the driver’s door and the guy mirrored my movements. I decided I had enough silliness for one night and marched over to my driver’s door and shoulder barged the guy out of my way…hard. I managed to get my door closed before he could get up and started to reverse out of the space. Now for the best bit, without hesitation the guy runs behind my car and dives down on the floor shouting “Just try and run me over! Just try and run me over!!!!” It was utterly surreal! “So what are you going to do then?” I shouted out of my window “lie there all night?!” He seemed to take this under consideration and realising he had no mobile phone he slowly got up of the floor, “You stay!! I go inside to call police, if you drive off... they arrest you, I have number plate!” he said and ran back inside the building… that was it. I drove off and never head anything about the drainpipe again!

What a Hero!
(Minty Hit, Thu 12 May 2005, 11:40, Reply)