Stagecoach Bus Drivers
Here's a good one for anyone who lives in an area Stagecoach have busses, and with their borg attitude that's most of the country by now.

One thing they really hate is issuing "Change Vouchers" - so I INSIST on it. Basically, they have to give you change but first thing in the morning they often don't have change for a twenty quid note, so they tell you to get off the foxcubbing bus so it doesn't hold them up. BUT, although most of the lazy bar stewards don't bother to read the foxcubbing manual, their ticket machines are capable of issuing a change voucher ticket, so if you give them a twenty quid note at 7:30 in the morning, for a 60p fare, they have to issue you a change voucher for the difference.

Extra points for the jobsworth expert. This is the person who then insists on their right to redeem PART of the change voucher for another bus ticket - this involves the driver getting out his manual to work out how to tell the ticket machine that the customer not only is paying for their 60p bus ride with a change voucher for £19.40 but also needs ANOTHER change voucher for the £18.80 they're still owed by the company.

Finally, ultimate points to the bastard who turns up at 4:59 at the main stagecoach office in the bus station demanding to redeem their change voucher for cash when there's bugger all left in the till, because it is their right so to do - thereby causing every stagecoach employee in the place to dip into their own pockets rather than have to unlock the safe or call supervisors etc.

To which you can cheerfully say, "Same time tomorrow then?" - I love stagecoach buses, I really do...
(Snitter the Rat, Thu 12 May 2005, 14:47, Reply)