Back in them old days when I taught Sailing
We had this incredibly annoying little turd of a boy called Jackson. He would do bollocks all, or do it wrong, and never listen to what we told him.

Me, being at the tender age of 16, had just recently gotten the job, so I was trying to keep to the rules as much as possible, listening to the senior instructor as if he were speaking gospel.

So, we're doing sailing in formation. All the kids in thier slower club dinghies in formation, all the instructors in faster racing dinghies buzzing about giving help or tips.

Of course, Jackson goes off course and refuses to do anything properly, so I sail off after him, telling him in no uncertain terms what I would do with his testicles and a blunt soup spoon if he shouldn't turn around.

Of course, he doesn't listen and goes into the shallow mud flats that surround the bay. the tide goes out very quickly, and his boat gets stuck in the mud, about 500m out from the pontoon. Realising he was stuck, he starts screaming and crying etc. blaming me for his predicament.

I go and tell the Senior instructor, ask if he can get Jackson out. Unfortunately there is a rule somewhere saying that you cannot operate a motorpowered inflatable within waters less than a foot deep. Tits.

So I tied my boat up on the docks and had to wade across a kilometer of waist deep mud filled with sharp rocks and bits of debris, conviniently placed at scrotal level. Oh joy.

So, childs, never be a jobsworth, or you'll be re-evaluating your life whilst pulling a dinghy wih a fat, annoying, screaming, shithead of a child across a kilometer of waist deep mud whilst your wedding tackle get's caught on sharp rocks.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Thu 12 May 2005, 15:30, Reply)