Fopp Security Guard
Went into my local FOPP music store at lunchtime one day from work, after nipping to the nearby sandwich shop for a couple of cheese & ham numbers.

Got to FOPP and there's a sign that reads, 'No food or drink to be consumed on these premises'. So what eh? My sannies are in a bag that you couldn't see through.

I took two steps in the door and the security guard (for the sake or argument we'll call him 'Arse') steps up to me and asks, 'Is that food you have in your bag sir?'

Me, 'Yes, it's my lunch, why?'
Arse, 'Sorry, I can't let you in with that.'

I looked at him for a few seconds just to make sure he wasn't going to laugh. But he didn't, so I did, turned around, walked across the road to HMV, bought a cd & wrote a letter of complaint.

Two days later, I received a reply from the manageress of the store saying that he wouldn't work there again (they hire from an agency) and enclosed a £20 voucher for her store.

Back of the net!
(Wile E. Coyote, Thu 12 May 2005, 16:42, Reply)