I'm a completey utter twat of a jobsworth
mainly because the general public are always trying to pull a fast one on us Busdrivers and any shortchanging comes directly out of our wages and not the profits of the bus company.

One chavy kid got on at the Meadowhall Interchange and asked initially for a 40p concessionary child's fare. I thought fair enough I can't be arsed to even ask him for his concessionary pass as I want to press on and have more than enough of arsey back-chatting kids. But then he changes his mind and asks for a Child Return Ticket instead. Now it's common knowledge amongst the busdrivers that kids are using Child Return Tickets as All Day Saver Tickets and riding for 80p all day long. But it's not for me to judge whether this kid is legit or not so I punches him out his Child Return ticket and takes his 80p.

Suddenly...

"Hey hang on I already have a Child Return Ticket!" the brain of Britian says and quickly produces it. So I'm in the process of handing him his money back and cancelling the ticket I'd issued. But first as with all Child Returns you must punch holes in them to stop them being used over and over again. The chav then looks at his ticket now complete with holes and sparks up "Errrr... I'll have that one too!" Pointing to the ticket he had rejected. Now paint me thick and call me Thicko McThickie but I've never heard of any kid actually wanting to pay twice for a bus ride and so I promptly annulled the ticket handed him back his 80p and said "Sorry but this ticket has to be cancelled."

Jobworth? Perhaps. But it fills me with joy to see a thick twatty chav slip on his own warped logic.
( maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 15 May 2005, 22:15, Reply)