Admin-monkey Hunting
My friend had a rather painful hip, so went down the usual route - see the GP, refer to Orthopaedic surgeon - seen by the consultant. Upon reaching the final hurdle, the date for his operation was set a mutually convenient time for both the consultant and my friend. He's a lecturer, so timing this replacement for the reading week in Summer was essential. So all was happy for a time, and life was good, if a bit painful and limpy.

Then comes a phonecall to my friend - one to the effect of, 'since you did not agree to having your operation as according to our new waiting list guidelines, we're cancelling it.' Nothing would move the 19-year old at the end of the phone and that was that. My friend was seething - volcanic would have been closer to the situation he was in.

At this time, I was working for an Orthopaedic surgeon in London. Now, anyone who has met these beasts of nature will know that though they may not have the grace and finesse of say, a lithe cat, they do have the raw effectiveness of a brick being applied repeatedly to the balls. They are also rather fun, and rather amusing to get drunk with. They also don't like their operating schedules fucked with; and many a time, assisting these guys over an open knee, have I seen some admin monkey been summoned into the operating theatre, to be 'made an example of'. My friend called me wondering what to do. Knowing that things in the NHS from an admin point of view tend to run around the doctors who have to provide a service, without letting the doctors know, I gave him this little piece of advice: tell the consultant that his nice tidy operating list has been changed by some 19 year old up in the admin-block. I'm sure he'd deal with it in his own unique way. My friend was not convinced this would work - but hey, it's worth a try.

The order of events then ran like this. The next day my friend called up the consultant's secretary, who was rather surprised to learn this was the case, and yes, she would pass on the message to Mr Ball-Breaker.

10 minutes later, she called back. 'You have your original operation date back. Just please don't ask what happened, OK?'

In the end, he got his operation 2 days earlier than that, which was even more convenient. Proving, perhaps, that karma can be six-foot of knuckle-dragging, Black and Decker wielding, pissed off, bone crunching surgeon.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 15:24, 4 replies)

God help the admin monkey for fucking with an orthopod.
Only way they could have made it worse would have been if he was a plastic surgeon..
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 16:11, closed)

Orthopaedic surgeons
I recently had spinal surgery (ACDF C5/6 and C6/C7, look it up it's gruesome!) and your description of Orthopods is spot-diddley on! My surgeon described himself as "a brickie that can read latin".
Did a cracking job though!

"Click"
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 16:30, closed)

Brings back memories
I had the same happen to me. Non-healing fracture, which the admin told me would take 2 YEARS to come to the top of the list. Rang the orthopod, surgery scheduled for 6 days later.

While he was taking the history, he said something I'll never forget.

"People think doctors are descended from shamans and herbalists. This is true. I'm a not a doctor but a surgeon, and my professional skills descend from Ottoman torturers, curious butchers and the public hangman".

I wonder what happened to the admin guy?
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 10:59, closed)

Oh...
...how I would like to hear the rest of that story.
(douchebarge, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 11:31, closed)