My younger brother, when he was about 8, I think. Painful story guys.
We had family or friends staying round, so we had a 'zed-bed' shoved in our bedroom, to accommodate older brother while friends/family/people we didn't know, stole his room for a while.
Anyway, if anyone knows how dangerous these things are, you may guess what's coming, but you're wrong.
My brother sat on this thing, and one of the springs popped up, as he stood up, it caught his 'bag of love spuds' and ripped it open!!
I shit you not, it had torn it in half, from base of his nob all the way down.
He cried, I told mum that 'Chris has ripped his bollocks open'.
Still makes me cringe to this day, and it was nearly 20 years ago now.


One from my kids now.
My daughter is a real daddys girl, and I've always had difficulty in telling if she's ever not telling me the complete truth.
I read something somewhere, and used it on her, it worked a treat, but she's figured it out now.
When she was about 4, I told her that if she tells me a fib(why is that word only used with kids?) then a light turns on on her forehead that only mummy and daddy can see.
She started covering her forehead when she fed me complete bullshit from then on, worked a bloody treat. Unfortunately, she's now 7 and knows it doesn't work now.


Got loads about my little shitbags angels.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 19:02, 2 replies)

Ahh...I told mine their nose grows just like Pinocchio when they lie.
So far it is still working....
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 4:56, closed)

i am so stealing that forehead light thing
mines only two & she lies like her mother

'have you poo'ed?' whilst she's laid on my lap with a shitty nappy being changed(daughter not wife)
'no daddy, piggle did it!'
little get ;o)
(evilneb nothing to see here, move along.., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 18:00, closed)