Not me, but a cousin in Scotland...
Who was two at the time (he's now twelve). Now he has never been what you might call a conventional child, but still...

My Aunt had left him alone in the room he shared with his brother, where he was playing happily with his toy cars while she went downstairs to unload the washing machine. After she had been busy for about half an hour she became a bit suspicious of the absence of noise and decided to check up on him. She went to the bottom of the stairs. Silence. The landing at the top. Silence. She opened his bedroom door upon a scene of horror. He had done a shit in his nappy. Not a problem, he was two years old. But he had then carefully removed it, rolled it into little balls and carefully inserted one into the driving seat of each of his cars, and proceeded to push them all over the floor. The whole place was smothered in shit. Upon hearing his mother's despairing cry he turned to her with a massive grin on his face and exclaimed:

"Look mummy! Poo ball driving car!"



A few years later, his parents had decided to have a group photo taken with him and their other (at the time) three children. Now for those who haven't been the subject of a professional photoshoot, this process involves a lot of tedious changes of position, lighting, background etc. to get the perfect result. The photographer's assistant was given the unenviable job of keeping the children amused and smiling for the photograph(s), and did so with a string of animal noises. However after half an hour her impressions (and my cousin's patience) were running thin. So the next time the poor woman made a strangled quacking noise my cousin pipes up:

"We've heard that one already! Can ye no' do a Velociraptor?"

They had to delay the shoot for another 10 minutes while everyone except him stopped laughing.

*pop*
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 18:57, 3 replies)

Hee hee
Charming tale. I like the accent too.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 19:13, closed)

Excellent!
Jurassic Park's got a lot to answer for!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 19:15, closed)

Actually...
...when my kids were little I used to yell "Raptor attack!" and grab their legs while making a very high pitched screech. Made them giggle every time. Especially if I was wearing a baggy tee shirt and pulled my elbows inside to make short dinosaur arms...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 21:46, closed)