Okay, not my own child but
There was 10 years between me and my little sister and I was left looking after her an awful lot. I honestly didn't ever mean to be cruel but sometimes things were good for...a laugh.


When she was 4 I sat her down and explained what adopted meant, not for any real reason apart from I taught her that her name (lets call her Sarah) meant 'you're adopted and I hate you'. And that her real name was Bert and Bert meant 'beautiful, wonderful daughter'. Great laughs when the 'rents got back.

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Remember those invisible pens you could get (mum got them on QVC)? You drew with the normal pens but could 'erase' them by going over it with the white pen. Anyway, when I was about 12, I was busy drawing all over her face (stared off by doing 'chin people' but got carried away), I drew a house, rainbow, trees, a park (all very small), all over, then started writing, first my name, then hers then, for some reason 'fuck' and 'shit' and 'wanker'.

I hear parents coming home and me panicking and quickly rubbing her whole face over with white pen, which, thankfully worked. All plain faced, lovely.

They are going shopping, does Sarah want to come, yes, yes she does, does different_maybe? No, she doesn't. Okay, off they go to The Hypermarket, which also has a cafe, where they go to have a drink and a cake after shopping. Where the white pen starts to not work anymore, where the colour starts coming through, with all the pictures showing...and the writing.

Mum and Dada and Sarah in the hypermarket cafe with pictures all over her little face, and some smudged writing too with a clear as crystal FUCK right in the centre of her forehead.

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As I already mentioned, I had to look after her an awful lot and I'd get so bored. So to liven up the day, I'd die. Right in front of her, make dramatic clutches to my throat, gasp and splutter and then fall to the floor with one arm up in the air reaching out to her, then falling limply to the floor when I finally died, normally with a last try at...help me...

She'd sob and scream, calling my name out over and over, diff, she'd cry, diff, wake up, please wake up, I love you, please don't die. Then she'd cry, normally with her head on my tummy, arms desperately trying to wake me.

Then after a while (about 45 minutes or so) I'd shout BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and scare the shit out of her.

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Mum always complained that Sarah always asked for things when they went shopping and were always on at me to make her stop it, so one day, I sat her down on my knee and explained to her she really shouldn't ask for so many things.....just one thing, then keep on and on about it until she got it and explained the folks would listen to her better if she stamped her feet, shouted a little louder and maybe said things like, why won't you feed me, I'm so hungry.

I got a beating for that one :D

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Many, many more. I do feel bad and I'd never have done that as an adult with my own kids (except that time I put my daughter in the fridge, just to see if she'd fit...she did, didn't close the door, not all the way up). However in my defence I never caused her pain and at that age i shouldn't have been left alone with her so often for such long periods of time.

I was evil :(
( diffy maybs, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 15:18, 5 replies)

And I thought my older brother was bad ...
you've just made him look like a saint!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sat 19 Apr 2008, 15:22, closed)

I used to do the 'pretend dying' thing to my brother.
Great times.
( Bob Todd whee, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 16:14, closed)

!!!
The part about the supermarket (Why won't you feed me, I'm so hungry) made me laugh an usual amount for a QoTW. Seriously, I can hardly breathe. I needed that!
(BrainSurgerysFun, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:04, closed)

Spooky!
Bert is actually Welsh for 'pretty'
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 0:49, closed)

pretend dying
I had a babysitter do that to my brother and I - it was horrifying! He also put our cat in one of our sleeping bags and dangled it over our (15 foot high) balcony.

Awful!
(juliajuliajulia, Sun 20 Apr 2008, 23:23, closed)