My first joke
I heard this in Primary school, which is a miracle in itself on how I didn't get expelled repeating it there. I was 5 at the time, so sheer children's ignorance most probably paid a part, but I digress.

I'm happy and schools out. We all rush out, little nippers legging it in every direction. I leg it home and wait for dad. I've got a new joke for him.

"Dad, dad" shouts I as he gets in the front door.
"What is it young Jeccy?" says he.
"I got a joke for you daddy!" screams me, almost creaming with pre-guilty delight.
"Come into the living room before you have a heart attack" says dad, ands leads me into the main room. He sits down and says "Cmon then, lets hear it."

I take centre stage, take a deep breath (well deep as far as a 5 year old can manage) and begin.

"My friend Jonny has no hands. Poor Jonny.
Jonny has no nose. Poor Jonny.
Jonny has no lips. Poor Jonny.
Jonny has no feet. Poor Jonny.
But Jonny can sing. Sing for us Jonny, sing sing sing!
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mmmmnnnnnppphhhhuuurrrghhhmongmmmmmuuuuu!" which was accompanied with me walking around the living room flapping my arms and feet like a delinquent chicken.

Me dad literally still laughs at this joke a good 25 years later. Bless 'im :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 17:18, 3 replies)

you should be ashamed...
that's horrible. absolutely appalling. oh fuck it. i'm laughing my head off
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 18:06, closed)

Oh Lordy
Tears in my eyes. Click
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 23 Apr 2008, 9:21, closed)

With my "serious fatherly head" on, I'd have wanted to tell my son off for that.
But in reality, if he'd have done that in front of me, I wouldn't be able to tell him off because I'd be pissing myself so much :D
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 12:58, closed)