#9 On Bullying
As I have mentioned before quite often my kids and I will discuss 'important' subjects in the car on the way to and from school.

A few weeks ago one of them (the entrepreneur) had had his hair cut - he takes after me and has wild curly hair which is really best kept short (for him, not me). So unfortunately when his hair is cropped it gives him the slight appearance of a coconut, bless him.

So there we are racing around the country lanes avoiding foxes with mange, mixy rabbits and the kids' inbred relatives when his haircut is brought up....

"Mum, I'm getting bullied at school because my hair is so short."

*DING*

I go into full on Protective Mother(TM) mode.

"What do you mean, bullied? What's happening? Have you mentioned this to your teacher? Who is doing it?"

He goes into more detail about him being called Slap Head and Baldy.

I begin to breathe a sigh of relief - this is kids being unpleasant little buggers, but not full on Bullying - however, it still requires me to keep him talking to me about it, just in case.

So I prepare myself to launch into various techniques that he could use to deflect the unpleasant comments...

"Well darling, I think what you should say is -"

"Tell 'em to fuck off"

Pipes up his brother.

Well, yes. Erm...good advice actually.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:42, 13 replies)

I've been banned from b3ta'ing at work...
And I had alot of trouble holding in my laugh there :P
(Belgaer is, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:47, closed)

...
See that story in the paper last week about the teacher who claimed that the teasing he got because of his baldness amounted to disability discrimination and tried to sue? Fucktard.

See
www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/judge-baldness-is-not-a-disability-810391.html

and

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/come-off-it-baldy-ask-chunky-or-horse-about-school-ribbing-812064.html

for the (very silly) story...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:47, closed)

@ St Enzyme
Too true!

Kids will always find the weakness and then exploit it.

If all he was called was Baldy he should count himself lucky.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:51, closed)

Yup...
There was a study at Kings a couple of years ago, the results of which were that (contrary to popular belief) alleged bullies tend to be the most highly socially functional. Which, in a hierarchical pack animal like humans, makes sense...

*launches into Nietzschean deconstruction of the garbage that's often talked about kids*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:54, closed)

One is Follically Challenged One's Self
"Yes I have no hair. I can put on a hat. You're fucking ugly, and plastic surgery wil cost you a fortune"

Or he could just twat them with a sockful of snooker balls. Over-react? Me?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:54, closed)

@ancrenne...
OK - but since the ageing process is nowt more than the body breaking down, it's fair (or plausible, at least) to see it as an illness. Check out Aubrey de Grey, a Cambridge geneticist who's set out to find a cure for ageing...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:56, closed)

@ Osok
My advice was to tell them that his hair would soon grow but they'd still be ugly.


I think his brother's advice would be more effective though.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:58, closed)

On the subject of the bald teacher..
I don't really see the difference between that bullying, and racism.

The judge himself said:
"If baldness was to be regarded as an impairment then perhaps a physical feature such as a big nose, big ears or being smaller than average height might of themselves be regarded as an impairment "

Implying that it should be treated the same way as any physical feature over which the 'victim' has no choice. A bit like race, for example.
( Thinker, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:30, closed)

Insults
Being blessed with wild curly hair myself, I'm used to various comments about hair, curls, eating my crusts etc.

Every four weeks I used to visit a local barbers shop for a haircut and the same semi-geriatric used to utter "Curly un't it?" every single time he held a pair of scissors to my hair.

After twenty or so instances of "Curly un't it?" I kind of flipped, looked in the mirror and screamed "Aargh! I had flat top when I left the house this morning!".

Sometimes sarcasm in its most acerbic form is the only antidote to these idiot.

BTW - Enzyme: I quite agree, it is often the most socially gifted who feel a need to bully people. I had a guy in my last job who harrassed me non-stop for four years, although socially accomplished, he claimed in his disciplinary that he needed someone as a target in order to feel secure enough that he wouldn't be a target for bullying himself. When confronted directly by me, he'd be polite and sickeningly nice, yet would instigate another obsessive campaign of harrassment the moment I was no longer a direct physical threat to him. Being socially capable does not necessarily mean this guy didn't have some serious issues going on...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:38, closed)

@PJM
I'm just not sure that "bullying" is always the right word. It seems too moralistic to me, and to assign virtue to the allegedly bullied party for no reason beyond the fact that he's at the receiving end. Hence the Nietzschean bit...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:41, closed)

Enzyme
Well in this case, the perpetrator was acting in a way which he himself defined as "amoral". Being on the receiving end is somewhat emotive, so perhaps my perception of what is/isn't vituous in this case is somewhat skewed.

My own opinion was that this wasn't normal pack behaviour, but motivated by neurosis.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:51, closed)

baldy
but if hed been in wheel chair and insuted because of that, or been blind and insulted because of that, or been black and been insulted because of that things would be different
(pogo_it, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 12:48, closed)