Well...
I like Enzyme as much as kittens, but have to disagree on some points I'm afraid.
Having spent 7 years working with special needs children, I'd say that realistically, Mr & Mrs Friend might be better with a puppy. Or, even better, a rescue dog.

*awaits flaming*

In all my years of nursey / carey / childy work, and in life, I've come across the all-consuming desire to procreate so many times. Now, I'm not saying any of the following might apply to Mr & Mrs Friend, however, many of these couples shared common thought patterns / hopes / rose-tinted spectacles:

1) Many think of having a baby; not a teenager / young adult and the various challenges associated.

2) Not many couples seriously consider the possibility of having a child with learning/physical/mental difficulties. Bringing up a child in this world is the most challenging (and mostly joyous) feat I've ever undertaken. And mine is a good'un. Having worked with autistic kids and countless "syndromes", I *know* I couldn't cope with one of my own. Being bitten, kicked, punched, spat on 'n' shat on, screamed at etc. for a six hour shift is one thing. (Also, ecstatically rewarding when progress is made...) Coping with such a child at home for the rest of the time is a different kettle of fish. But so many people planning families think it won't happen to them - and even if it does, they will cope. Love for the child will conquer adversity etc. (Myself included, until I worked with these kids.) People expect babies to be totally dependant for care of physical needs such as feeding, bathing, changing nappies/diapers. What if independance is never an option?

3) Sadly, I've seen the desire for a baby become obsessional, obliviating all other aspects of what was once a healthy relationship.

Sorry if this sounds callous - that is not my intention. Also, I've described the worst behaviors here - many of the autistic kids I've had the pleasure of knowing have been a delight to work with. Many have special places in my heart - I will never forget them.

Throwing a disabled mother into the picture? MS is debilitating in so many ways - and worst of all, it's unpredictable.

Apologies if any of my comments seem harsh, but I have experienced most angles involved.

Good luck in every respect to Mr & Mrs Friend.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 13:01, Reply)