I also like wizard's sleeve
to describe an overstretched blit.
I had an episiotomy, then still tore from arsehole to breakfast time.
Having left Sweary Junior's dad before he was born, I remained single and celibate for a couple of years - so cannot comment on the immediate effects of childbirth.

Once back on the saddle however, my hole did not feel like a welly-top.

I did find the whole process psychologically off-putting though. It's hard to view your threepenny-bits as sexual once they've produced milk. And your love tunnel has been a birth canal....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 15:46, Reply)