Not quite death by chilli
One lovely day in October I was enjoying a fairly quiet shift behind the bar in the company of the nice regulars when, to my horror, the rugby club pub crawl reared it's ugly head.
Suddenly I'm surrounded by pissed up, braying, testosterone fuelled idiots. One particular young man seems to be trying for the coveted knob of the year award.
After a round of chilli vodka, the chief penis starts berating the drink, asking where the chilli was and demanding a refund as it wasn't hot enough.
Having been to the Southease chilli festival a couple of weeks before I decided to offer him something a little hotter and tell him I will refund the round and buy a new one if he eats one of my new chillis.
He proceeds to chomp down on a recently acquired bhut jolokia.
Quite quickly his shit-eating grin disappears. Colour drains from his face and he runs outside and proceed to double over and retch, sounding a little like something from the Exorcist. After a minute or so everything has gone quiet out there, so I decide to check on him. There he is, kneeling with his head between his knees, shaking with tears streaming down his eyes.
4 pints of milk later he manages to get shakily get back up and sit quietly in the corner, nursing a pint. He informed me that he thought he was going to die, his heart was racing so much.
I did feel a bit bad, but found out that the next week he was sent off for dragging someone out of a maul and breaking their jaw.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 9:47, 4 replies)

You should have chopped up the chilli then rubbed his penis
that would have really showed 'em.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 23 Dec 2011, 10:02, closed)

Do you often think about rubbing a young man's penis?
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 10:08, closed)

esp when inserted in your anus
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 10:48, closed)

while singing the Chili Bum Song.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 12:37, closed)