In our student halls in first year...
we had a guy on our floor with a reputation as a bit of a troublemaker when drunk. His escapades varied from relatively light misdemeanors like theft of a bag of frozen chicken burgers from the local takeaway, to throwing an actual china plate out of an eighth story window near the entrance to the building. Despite coming close to killing people, he was a really nice guy when not massively off his face. Needless to say, he was frequently reprimanded for his japes, but since the girl at the head of the committee took a shine to him, he was always let off with a slap on the wrist. It was pretty much a weekly event that he'd go to defend himself and his place in the halls of residence, only to return back to his room unscathed after an hour of light grilling. It became a running joke that he'd be kicked out sooner or later, but he never seemed to come close.

Then one night he managed to get into the annex of our student halls, and caused some form of destruction. Being on his own, and pissed, he couldn't remember what he'd done, but it somehow involved the girlfriend of the student representative of our hall who'd been voted in a few weeks previously. Rumours spread that he'd been walking down the corridors shooting people with an air rifle, to smearing his own shit on the walls. Each rumour got more and more absurd, and the event gained some kind of legendary status around the halls. He got called up again for another council meeting, but this time the hall representative decided to join in the proceedings and flex his muscles to demonstrate his newly found power, possibly in order to defend his girlfriend and her friends, or maybe just to impress them.

A few hours later, this guy came back looking a little disheveled and lost. He walked down the corridor, and we gathered round to hear the usual verdict. This time however, he said quietly, "I've been kicked out of uni..."

Assuming that he was messing about like all the times before, I put my hand on his shoulder and jokingly shouted, "Good riddance! See you later you massive CUNT!" with a beaming grin on my face.

Apparently I'm not a good judge of emotions. He'd genuinely been kicked out this time. He looked at me and teared up a little, while everyone looked at me like I was some kind of idiot...which I suppose is largely correct.
( guffguff fuckes your gradeds balls!, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:18, 7 replies)

I managed a total of four days in halls of residence
94% off students are shit. The idea of living in a commune with the cunts was the worst thing I could possibly imagine.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:27, closed)

From my experience I'd say 94% were alright, the rest were cunts
I think that makes me one of the cunts
( Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:40, closed)

Maybe we're both cunts and you're just rubbish at counting.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:42, closed)

i'm not even 94% alright

(alright alright, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 10:43, closed)

He said 94% were you. Duh.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 28 Aug 2013, 13:35, closed)

but 62% of me is baldmonkey
:(
(alright alright, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 13:51, closed)

it was 96% at mine

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Aug 2013, 13:12, closed)