Dear Next Door Neighbour
Let me start this letter with an apology for not coming round to welcome you to our neighbourhood. I'm normally very polite and welcoming, but when I heard you screaming and shouting at your baby, then throwing a bag of dirty nappies out of the front door and into the street then I thought it prudent not to disturb you; after all you appear to be very busy caring for your newborn.

I would like to offer my appreciation for keeping me and my wife awake until 6am with your music almost every weekend since you moved in. I had turned my back on the Industrial Techno scene when I moved in with my wife so you have been kind enough to share it at a reasonable volume, just loud enough to knock ornaments off our mantlepiece and make relaxing in our own home after a hard week at work a bygone pastime.

I would also like to offer reassurance that the West Midlands Constabulary actively endorse your behaviour, by refusing to help us when we called them at 5am. The Borough council also actively endorse your behaviour, by sending us an information pack explaining what they cannot do to help us, and for sending a member of their Noise Prevention Team round to tell us that the music isn't loud enough to be considered a nuisance, despite him having to raise his voice in our lounge for us to hear him.

I would extend our gratitude to the Government who actively take a large portion of my wage to hand to you in the form of benefits to provide you with the alcohol necessary to fuel these parties. I can no longer afford to pay for such luxuries as we are busy working to pay the tax to fund your lifestyle, but hey we can hear the bassbeats, the shouting and the cheering through the wall so we can at least imagine what a such a carefree attitude is like.

Our cats would like to thank you for bringing mice into our area so that they have things to chase in the evening. The National Lottery would also like to thank you for helping their profit margins, by making me so desperate to leave our home that I spent £25 on scratchcards in the hope of winning enough to move away to somewhere quiet. I won a pound by the way.

Furthermore I'd like to thank you for saving us the time and effort of trying for children of our own, as we simply cannot afford them now. But it's ok as we have the full parental experience of listening to a crying child through our walls, while your parties rage on downstairs. You are also funding the NHS by stressing us out so much my wife is on anti depressants which at £7.20 aren't exactly free, so well done there.

Finally, I would like to wish you all the best for you and your son's future, and hope that you can find it in your heart to keep it quiet on a Sunday so that my wife and I can get a little bit of sleep before we have to go back to work to earn your party money again.

Kind regards

Hedonist
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:01, 5 replies)

you as well?
gotta love scumbag neighbours, why can't they all live on a big estate somewhere they can frolic and run free far away from us? Oh wait, that's Manchester and Liverpool isn't it? (nothing against those places, I've never even been just two that came to mind!)
(mr_spongmonkey, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:20, closed)

You've got to laugh......





....otherwise you'll start off on a Littlejohn-style rant about the state of the nation today.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 5 Mar 2010, 16:40, closed)

had one of these fuckers above me
if you keep a noise disturbance diary for 3 months, then present it to whichever housing association owns their house, they are obliged to give them a written warning. if the warning is ignored, after another couple of months, a second and final warning is issued. if nothing has changed a month later, an eviction order should be issued, giving them 6 weeks to find a new home before they're kicked out.
i've been through this a couple of times. it takes a while, but it's worth it in the end.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 20:45, closed)

The truth is, I'm too scared to escalate it at the moment
There's often 30 people around there on party nights. They wouldn't think twice about smashing my face in if I went round to complain. I don't want to make the problem worse by reporting them, but we're keeping a diary but I hope in the meantime something will change.

oh and it's a private rental and I have no idea where the landlady is anymore. She fucked off and is renting it to these animals.
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 5 Mar 2010, 22:13, closed)

keep writing a diary
when you've got 3 months' worth, send it to the EPA, the council, the police, anyone you can think of. DO NOT EVER SEND THE ORIGINAL. make sure you have plenty of copies. if nothing is done, send a copy to your local newspaper, with a covering letter to explain that you've asked several official agencies for help and been refused. if you say you're terrified to complain in person, your name will be withheld. things like this tend to galvanise these officials into action.
oh, by the way, i'm fairly sure it's illegal for any of the aforementioned official agencies to give your neighbour the name of the person who's complained about them.
good luck!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 19:14, closed)