Dear Other Neighbours
It's a shame that we only met when the problems started with the drainage. You seem like quite a nice chap, and your daughter looks very sweet, and I haven't met your missus but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, it's just a shame your landlord is so shady and useless.

I just have one thing to ask: can you and your wife please stop arguing?

It's not that I think it's unhealthy; couples argue, often over silly little things, and I'm sure married life isn't quite turning into the bliss you perhaps expected it to be. No, it's more the fact that I can hear it in the loo.

And believe me, I find it quite difficult to properly unclench my sphincter when the sound of your latest exchange of bile and vitriol is resounding through the bathroom at a volume which sounds like you're standing right behind me on the cistern. I was certainly quite alarmed the first time I blundered into the bathroom that morning to be greeted by the sound of your wife's voice yelling
"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?"
I was honestly taken aback, and looked around in panic, fully expecting to see her sat on our toilet with her knickers round her ankles. Thankfully she wasn't, and I was able to siphon my python in comparable serenity after that.

From various comments that have passed through the thin partition between our houses, I have also deduced that she is a "stupid bitch," you are a "selfish bastard," and I have also been able to estimate when she's on her period. Though that remark may have been laced with sarcasm.

Please do not dismiss this request out of hand. Rather, before kicking off like you normally do, consider myself or indeed my flatmates, having to sit, frightened, on the crapper, waiting for our bowels to move as a torrent of anger rages barely metres from our vulnerable arses. Please: I'm just a simple man who wants nothing more than to be able to take a dump in peace.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:10, 2 replies)

I would believe that you are ny neighour
were it not for the fact that our neighbours are semi-detached.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 5 Mar 2010, 16:45, closed)

Mehehe
You live next door to a semi...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 17:15, closed)