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This is a question Letters they'll never read

"Apologies, anger, declarations of love, things you want to say to people, but can't or didn't get the chance to." Suggestion via reducedfatLOLcat.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 13:56)
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Dear Ludo (My Cat)

Just because you came through the cat flap into the kitchen and found that it had been ripped out in preparation for the new one, it doesn't mean you got the wrong house.

You can come home now, it's been 2 days!

P.s. I've got you some tuna as a treat.
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:06, 4 replies)

Dear Kip,

Thanks for the kind thought, but clearly you labour under the misaprehension that I am perhaps one of those dog things.

My reasons for absenting myself from the house have little to do with the ongoing work to the kitchen - it is something of an inconvenience, it's true, but to surmise that I was in some way 'confused' is to cast unwarranted deprecations upon my intelligence.

I have taken leave becuase I found the fare on offer, shall we say, 'less than satisfactory' of late. I would suggest rather than try to tempt me with that rather tawdry John West filth, you bite the bullet and fork out for some fresh salmon.

I trust we understand each other.

Your friend.

Ludo.
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:20, closed)
Fuck you then!
I'll buy a dog. :-)



*Please come home, you might be a little shit and bite people all the time but I do love you.

**And what's wrong with Whiskas?
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:38, closed)
oh no!
Hope your cat comes back. I had to give mine away when I moved :(
(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:37, closed)
Why?

(, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:39, closed)

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