(after travelling back in time 20 years) Dear me
1. Don't shag Jenny's Mum, the opportunity will arise but just because you can doesn't mean you should.

2.Remember to get into the sports hall early the day of the basketball final so you can get hold of a pair of shorts that actually fit you and avoid a disastrous "balls out in front of the entire school" situation.

3. If you are going to shag Jenny's Mum, don't shag her younger sister Alison, for reasoning see point 1.

4. The old Ginger bird in the BT call centre you will work in does not just want to make sure you have somewhere safe to sleep, she wants you to be a father to her even more Ginger kids.

5. Suzanne, who you sit next to in Geography, actually looses around 8 stone and turns out to be a stunner. Put the groundwork in now because trust me it will be worth it.

6. The entire bottle of Southern Comfort you chose to drink on your 18th is not a good idea unless you want to have your stomach pumped and lose the love of Jenny after telling her you have shagged her Mum and Sister.

7. Remember that Jenny's Dad is very big and unusually nippy fella for a 50 year old.

8. Use Sunscreen.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:25, 5 replies)

Hahahahahaha you are a lazy Hollywood scriptwriter
AICMFP
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:28, closed)

hee hee
click
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 14:03, closed)

Clicked.
I'd have a go on Jenny's mum.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 14:07, closed)

SUNSCREEN!
(Surfeit, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:34, closed)

9. Stretch

(tingtwatter Eating loads of red meat since, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:54, closed)