You owe me something...
Dear Steve,

Last Christmas when you gave me that present with a tag marked: Obviously DVD’s. No surprise there. But they’re your favourite genre, PORN!!! Enjoy!!! It got me into a shitload of bother with the Mrs. Cheers for that.

But then when I eventually got round to opening my pressie, the Mrs. dispatched to a friend’s to talk about ovaries and other such lady shit, a box of man-sized Kleenex at my side, the best German lube money can buy on my other side, cock in hand in trembling anticipation...

I was not impressed.

Deep Impact is not porn. Blow, likewise. Snatch, ditto. In the Line of Fire – nope. Must love dogs – again, no (and absolutely bloody awful). Free Willy – fuck off. Octopussy – bit of a laugh, had a semi wank over that one, but definitely not porn. Black Snake Moan – sexy title, sexy film. Full on wank over the girly in the hot pants, but technically not porn due to the lack of hardcore interracial sex action ending in spectacular facial cumshot that leaves the 'actress' looking like she's just dipped her head in wallpaper paste.

Steve, in short, you owe me some porn.

PS - Though I did watch Inside Man all the way through and thought it was pretty decent... Thinking about it, when you get round to purchasing me some hardcore, don’t get me a flick named Inside Man... I don’t think I’d be into that sort of porn.

PPS – Just to make it clear although I watched it all the way through I did not wank off over this movie. I like Denzil Washington, but just not in that way.

PPPS – Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:17, 3 replies)

As a complete aside...
The Inside Man, whilst a good film, has the most ill-chosen soundtrack to any Hollywood blockbuster I've ever seen. The light-swing which accompanys the story makes Clint Eastwood's singing at the end of Grand Torino seem like a touch of genius, rather than the misguided write the theme toon, sing the theme toon nonsense that it undeniably is. Not since Hudson Hawk has a film of this budget had such a lame musical score.

_{In case you were wondering}
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 17:19, closed)

I'll help out a little here.
Perhaps this will make up for the lack?
( Wanderer, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 19:02, closed)

Lies...
You'd so say this to Steve.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 20:00, closed)