I know a guy who
usually has an endless string of bollocks coming out of his mouth.
He's pretty creative, but he watches alot of old-comedy-tv too, so I can't really tell what he's making up or not..
Alot of the time, he makes something up and credits someone else, which I think is really stupid, but he's an idiot anyway :)
Once, he heard the song "Hocus Pocus" and told me that the video involved Rik Mayall wearing a gnome costume.
He rarely steals ideas from anyone else, though.
He has a friend called Davy, who is a complete prick, and when they get together they're a nightmare.
Richard and I both play a game called Neverwinter Nights, and because Davy a) hates me and b) hates violence, Richard always tells him a load of crap about me going around slaughtering helpless old men.
He's a bit of a cunt, really.
Then he says that our history teacher threatens Davy with a ruler which is precariously perched on the projector (the teacher doesn't know what calibration is), saying it'll ping off and hit Davy.
This was a lie, as in reality it was Richard who said it, causing Davy to flee from the room clutching at his head.
Richard tried to pass it off as the teacher the next day, even though I was in the room when it actually happened.

In case you haven't all realised, Richard is a complete retard.

And I know another guy called Jake, who, upon hearing I had a snake for my birthday, proceded to tell me he'd bought a python off ebay. I had to play along to make him shut up, but needless to say he never got the python. He also says that he owes his dad thousands for buying motorbike gear, even though he's blatantly not old enough to ride a motorbike.
And then he said that there are rare plastic ducks at our local surf spot worth thousands which he got to pay off his dad.

And then there's Dan, but nothing he says is ever true, so I don't need to explain that one.


Length?
Five years of putting up with their crap is long enough, thanks.
( ClanSoul, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 14:38, 5 replies)

it started well
with a vision of someone with a literal string of bollocks coming out of their mouth.

sadly your story rapidly deteriorated into something that I couldn't read.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 15:01, closed)

I noticed this as I was writing it.
Maybe I should have just posted a picture of a guy sucking a really big dick.
( ClanSoul, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 15:12, closed)

perhaps
but I don't think that would've read any better
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 15:21, closed)

plastic ducks...
the plastic ducks washing up on british coasts are real, and people pay a lot of money for them. Not encouraging his fantasy about actually finding them and using them to settle bills but there is a grain of truth to it.

times article
( sudo is bored, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 16:16, closed)

Yes, I knew it was true that they existed,
but he doesn't have any.
( ClanSoul, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 20:40, closed)