I don’t mean to name-drop…

But I knew a bloke (well he was about 17 at the time) who claimed to have invented the internet no less

Now this was in the days when a modem looked like a spongy plastic bra that you would put a phone handset into, and PCs just had black screens and BASIC, but still, he knew a damn sight more about computers than I did.

Before I continue – I would like to add that I have no idea about how much is true or not about the ‘facts’ he told me which I am about to spout. Some may be true, but it might be that worst thing of all - lies mixed with the truth to confuse you.

His name was James and he was a proper mong. Skinny, weedy nerdish type, all teeth and gums and zero personality. Always trying to deny his posh upbringing, he wore a Freddy Krueger hat (which I threw out of a moving car into a river once but that’s a different story) and had longish hair in a bob.

He claimed that ‘in the beginning’ there were 3 internets that spoke 3 different languages, all competing to become the ‘VHS’ of the range and not the ‘Betamax’. ‘Gummy’ James said he wrote the language that translated the different codes from the three internets and combined them to create the one ‘true’ internet that we know now.

‘Fuck-a-doodle-do!’ I exclaimed after hearing this, realising I was in the presence of true genius and potential riches beyond the dreams of Avarice. ‘What did you do then? How much did you sell it for? What were the offers?’ I pleaded.

‘Ah I did it for the ‘people’. As soon as I created the internet, I let it grow from there’ he proclaimed.

Noble. Interesting. But utter horseshit nonetheless.

Anyhoo, there is a really happy ending to this story.

James had a sister who was extremely attractive…and I shagged her.

Now that IS the truth. Yay.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:03, 4 replies)

I tell my kids I built the internet
Mind you I do have a medal and a top gun leather jacket with my name and number on it from cisco Systems to back this up.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:10, closed)

The internet
was invented by the US military in the 1960s(?) as a means of ensuring communication between systems in case of war. It then grew to include academic institutions and eventually members of the public.

The WWW as we know it (with web pages, html etc), was invented by Tim Berners-Lee at CERN in Switzerland in the early 1990s.

Not some skinny mong called James.

Top marks for shagging his sis though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:13, closed)

"When Wizards Stay Up Late"
is the best book on the subject.

what's missing is the fact that they ran Skype across it (well something like VoIP) in 1969.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:20, closed)

Story 2 is much better :)

( Weetobix, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 16:39, closed)