My friend Joe Bloggs
Who shall remain anonymous, even though if he reads this he'll know it's him.

He always came out with totally wild untruths throughout Years 7 and 8. For those not in the know they're the first two years of (most) high schools in England.

The few I can remember off the top of my head were him claiming that he chased off six massive black guys with a baseball bat. The fact that he was an average-size twelve-year-old didn't seem to hamper this belief.

Once when he was moody I commented on this and he snapped back "well you'd be moody too if your gran died in front of you last night." I felt like a right cunt and naturally apologised. I'd almost forgotten about it when I commented on his moodiness a few months later and he told me his nan had died last week. I was puzzled, but due to a two divorces in my family I have had four women I consider to be my grandmothers so I didn't make a big deal of it.

However throughout the course of our friendship he must have had a good seven or eight grandmothers die on him. Poor sod.

The best one though was the story of his mate Dan X. The X is 'cos I can't remember his last name. Dan was an unfortunate boy who was beaten up by his dad and sent to live with foster parents. They made him miserable and he killed himself. Sad. My friend Joe Bloggs took his revenge on the foster parents by breaking into their house and blowing up their two cars. Right.

We never believed this, but when at a party one day he came up to me and my friend and said "hey MJP89, MJP89's friend. This is my mate Dan X" we were rightly puzzled.

I don't understand this length jokes but continue to make them. Penis.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:18, 1 reply)

click
just for the penis bit at the end
(electrogirl no one thinks about the implications of a clown su, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:30, closed)