My other friend Joe Bloggs
... his name is actually Joe. Fucksocks.

At the end of college we had a Spring Ball. Tuxes, booze, etc. Anyway at the end of the night various people were discussing the level of vagina available to them. My mate shagged his girlfriend in a nearby playground, another got off with several women and even I managed to get a bit. She was bloody fit too, honest.

Anyway my friend Joe who shall not remain anonymous claimed to have pulled seven women. We were rightly congratulatory of him.

The next school day me and my friend were sitting in the common room and a lass by the name of Emily entered. We were discussing the night and I mentioned her escapades with Joe, which she denied. Myself and my friend were puzzled.
"Didn't Joe say he got off with seven women, including Emily?"
"He told me five."
We conferred with other friends and got conflicting messages. Four, nine, two. Only one was definitely true. Ah.

This all came out in a drunken argument with the Iceland lot (who I still go out with, only the manager thinks I'm a theiving cunt.) but unfortunately none of them knew the backstory.

Later on at aforementioned mate's 18th Joe told me he snogged our mutual friend Tasha. Congratulations, I said, having no reason to disbelieve him since it was a perfectly reasonable claim and they had done so before.

However, at a small drunken gathering Tasha dropped quite the bombshell to the whole room with Joe there. Three guesses...

Ten, twelve people, give or take, all pissed ourselves laughing at him and all Joe could do was stand there and take it.

I would've jumped out the fucking window.

Length? Well he claims 12" but who knows...
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:28, Reply)