Tom Amazing
I had a friend. I met him at work, seemed like a lovely chap, just a bit of a bullshit merchant.

Some of his shining moments included:

"I did the intranet website for the IRA - and they had me engineer and plant bugs." He was 24, english and shit with technology.

"I used to run a department for Cisco systems in London. We used to do coke and strippers on expenses." No-one can corroborate this. He used to live in Derby...

"I've got a Subaru Impreza." Which became "I had one, but I had to get rid of it. Why?

"I got caught bedding in a new turbo unit at 170mph on the M1. The policeman who pulled me over said 'I could do you for dangerous driving, but you were driving so well that I'll just do you for speeding.'"

He claimed to have been banned for three years. I found his licence when I was cleaning the flat we ended up sharing (don't ask...) and I challenged him. Why wasn't there a ban on it? And why is it a provisional?

"Ah, there's no ban on THAT licence..." Then he tapped his fucking nose and winked. Argh!

He'd forever bullshit about his 'super-fast, god-like PC'. At one point he bullshitted too far infront of some friends, saying 'It's got a triple-processor unit in it that I built and wrote the programming for.'

"Tom, mate" says I, "Your PC has a fucking glass side plate. There's clearly only one frigging processor. Why lie when you can be caught out by someone turning their head 90 degrees?"

His retort?

"I'm not going to argue with you..."

Ahh and there were so many, many more. And where does Tom Amazing come from? He once introduced himself to my sister's attractive friends as Tom Amazing. It beggars belief.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 22:54, Reply)