Blind Drivers
Allow me to tell you all the story of Ruth. When I went back into education I took an access course at College in Sheffield. In my class was Ruth. I nice enough person but not a weekend would go by without someone throwing stones at her house daubing offensive graffiti on her walls (every fucking week !!!!!) Three particular stories still make me cuckle to this day.

1) She had a driving licence. Nothing particularly suspicious about that until you learn that Ruth was registered blind.

2) She was involved in the Witness Relocation Program here in Sheffield. Apparently she had been moved from her original abode on The Manor and was now living in secret about three miles away in Gleadless.

3) This is not so much a new lie more an embellishment to story number one. While driving in Sheffield (right next to the Norton Watertower for those of you who dwell up here in Gods own city) I was approaching a traffic island. I made some comment about the yellow rumble strips that were in the road, Ruth pipes up :-

Ruth "I made the council fit those"

Me "How come ?" thinking there would be a genuine reason for this.

Ruth "So that blind drivers like me know when the island is coming up"

I nearly crahed the car I was laughing that hard.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 19:31, Reply)