Lies I told on my CVI've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.
My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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and I thought I was so funny and clever...I had just finished studying and had moved to the Smoke to get a job. I saw an ad for assistant at a literary agency in the Guardian job pages. After the usual requirements, it said at the bottom: ‘applicant must hate smoking and love dogs.’
At the time I was a 30 a day man and have nursed a healthy phobia of dogs since being attacked on a beach at the age of three (note to dog owners: it may well be ‘being friendly’ but me being me and not you, that bark and the slavering lips still appear to be the bearings of a killer).
Being desperate for the job all the same, in the CV I wrote ‘as for hating smoking and loving dogs, I have persistent nightmares about Cruella deVille.’
It worked and I got an interview. She was the wife of a very famous politician. I opened the door of her townhouse in Victoria to be greeted by the sight of two slavering pitbulls. They were barking. They were bearing their teeth. She appeared behind them, beaming, ‘say hello to my baaaaabies!’
I didn’t get the job.
Beware: behind every little white lie lurks a ravenous, slavering hell-hound.
(, Fri 7 Jul 2006, 11:42, Reply)
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