Lies I told on my CVI've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.
My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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Disability Benefits (?) AgencyNot strictly a CV, but I used to visit my brother in the Disability Benefits Agency at lunchtime when I was on the dole. They had a noticeboard of funny CVs and stuff, but there was a classic letter sent in by a bloke who was caught 'on a hobble'... i.e. he was caught working whilst pretending to be ill. It was meant to explain why he was working and claiming at the same time. He wrote the letter in the same manner he spoke and went something like this (he was Welsh):
"The thing is, see, I was doing the work I was seen doing, like for some mate's, but it was just a quickie like, wasn't it? Not proper work and you can ask anyone who was there if you don't believe me. My leg and back was still hurting from all the pain but I carried on to help my friends. Anyway you can't get me for this because I have a letter from doctor Jones. TOP DOCTOR!!!! (triple underlined) who says I'm not well enough to work because of my back and if you don't believe me - go upstairs because he works in the floor above you, see. And I know this like because I've been to both places."
I also read my housemate's CV the other day. His hobbies section read only:
"Reading, watching TV, driving.". Class.
(, Sun 9 Jul 2006, 22:46, Reply)
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