I love B3ta...
..and I still like QOTW. But the repetition is getting beyond a joke now, we had this question in AUG 2010 as Lies that got out of control.

I'll pearoast my story in the hope that Maxim might steal it for their readers letters section again......

About 15 years ago I'd started going out with a girl in my home town. At first I didn't think the relationship was going to go beyond the seeing each other at the weekends stage, but over time we saw more and more of each other and met each others parents and would regularly stay over at each others houses.

My lie began whilst talking to her family about holidays. Her family were well into holidays, holiday brochures were frequently read throughout the year and once a holiday had been booked it was all they'd talk about until they went on it. They even took trips to the airport to watch the planes take off and arrive.

During one of their holiday discussions her mum asked me what holidays I'd been on (I'd only ever been to Wales or the Lakes, never abroad) and for some reason (it must have been misguided embarrassment at having never been on a plane) I told her that I'd been to Florida and visted Disney Land and Universal studios years earlier. I immediately wish I hadn't said anything as it turned out that Florida was their dream holiday destination and they began asking me lots of questions about it. I tried to blag my way out of it by saying it had been years before and I didn't remember to much. But everytime a holiday conversation started it would inevitably turn to my ficticious holiday in Florida and I'd sit and squirm and lie even more about the details.

This is were the lie gets out of control.

We'd now been going out for around about a year and christmas was coming up and both sets of parents were asking if it would be a good idea for us all to have a meet up at christmas so that our parents could meet each other. I knew there was no way of getting out of this, and I also knew that some how the topic of holidays was bound to come around in conversation. To say I worried about this was an understatement. I lost sleep over it and eventually instead of coming clean to my girlfriend and her parents, I came clean to my parents.

And this is why I'll love them forever. They went along with the lie. We met my girlfriends parents and when the conversation did eventually turn to holidays (directed that way by my girlfriends parents) my mum and dad just said that we'd been to florida a few years before, gave sketchy details, and bluffed their way through it like troopers.
It was horrible, and I couldn't wait to break up with her so that the lie could be eventually put to bed! :P

I've now put away my shovel and stopped digging such big holes!!
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 11:49, 12 replies)

you murdered your girlfriend and buried the body?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:04, closed)

Yes.
But the others are in shallow graves I made with my hands.......
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:55, closed)

They went to the airport just to watch the planes?
Terrorists.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:15, closed)

Ha!
When you put it like that....
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:55, closed)

Aww that's so nice or your parents.
Honestly mine would never stick up for me like that.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 12:22, closed)

Sorry to hear that.
Although maybe I should have been revealed to have been a fraud. And taught that lying is wrong. :)
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:56, closed)

+1 for your parents

(retrac fumble in the jungle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:09, closed)

Cheers.
It's just my mum these days, and she remains a cracking parent.
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:57, closed)

How silly did you feel when you found out Disney Land is in California?
(tyrellsOwl, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:14, closed)

Unbelievably.
In fact, once my web of deceit and veil of lies started to crumble around me, I had to kill them all to bury the truth.
( Evil Bastardo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:58, closed)

Good. Then you can start to forget. Seriously though, as a foreigner it seems so strange to me this notion of avoiding embarrassment, and so much of your comedy is based on it. I like stuff like Peep Show, but there seems to be a pattern emerging.
(tyrellsOwl, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:18, closed)

I used to live in Florida.
I'd rather go to Wales, honestly.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 19:19, closed)