Bitchelor's
many moons ago, Mummy Smash decided to make me a nice bowl of celery soup for lunch. whilst stirring said soup, she discovered something in it that definitely wasn't celery. it was, in fact, a large piece of jagged plastic, quite hard and shaped like a dental appliance that was lacking its false teeth. Mummy Smash was not pleased. a letter was duly - and angrily - written and, with plastic enclosed, the peeved missive was sent on its way.
two weeks later, a reply was received. it went something like this:

Dear Mummy Smash,
we at Bitchelor's are not in the habit of putting plastic in our soup. we don't believe you. tough shit.

Cunty McFuckbucket, something high-up, Bitchelor's.

Mummy Smash was now incandescent. she immediately phoned the "helpline" and inormed the person on the other end that she had contacted a solicitor(she hadn't) and had, before sending it off, taken pictures of the offending plastic and would begin legal proceedings.
the effect was dramatic. apologies were profuse and grovelling. £40 in vouchers was also forthcoming.
take that, dodgy soup-merchants!

that said, the condensed cream of mushroom makes a damn fine pasta sauce when undiluted.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 18:14, 7 replies)

If you're a meat eater
Goes really well with steak and fried onions too
(ceeej, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 20:18, closed)

not tried that
and, as my stomach is now the size of a water biscuit, i'm not likely to :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 20:40, closed)

It does aswell!
Me and the mister use it in our bakes as an alternative to tomato soup sometimes. Mmm!
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 1:27, closed)

This has to be fake...
...on the grounds that NO-ONE in their right minds would eat celery soup.
Wrongness.
(13thfloor, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 17:24, closed)

i like celery soup :(

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 20:02, closed)

Reminds me
of when I found a sharp chicken bone in a tin of soup. I sent it to the manufacturer with a polite letter, and got a load of vouchers back and an apology - no fussing.

Given I've been a vegetarian for nearly twenty years, you can tell how long ago this was, so things may have changed.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:01, closed)

due to health and safety
i think they're more inclined to apologise these days
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:40, closed)