I found a fly in a jar of fruit.
So I snapped a photo with my camera, and emailed it to the company. They asked me to mail it back to them for further inspection, and promised to cover the postage. So off I sent it, and a couple weeks went by. All of a sudden, I find this huge package in my mail. Turns out they'd sent me at least two of every item from their line...of canned fish products. Being a vegan (at my most normal bumping it up to just vegetarian, if the mood for pizza strikes me), I suppose this would be a negligible victory at best. Two years later, I'm still trying to figure out the logic that prompted that one.
( Ithyphallophobia, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 4:53, 14 replies)

It's a hint.
Consider switching to a more ecologically-balanced diet. Well, assuming it's line-caught fish, anyway.
(gordonjcp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 7:49, closed)

.
Q: How can you tell if someone is a vegan?

A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:24, closed)

hahaha, also:

Q. Why do people kill animals?
A. Fur convenience steak.
( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:17, closed)

Do vegan junkies have to go "cold quorn"?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:01, closed)

I'm not sure but I do know that when they turn militant it's perfectly acceptable to refer to them as lactose intolerant.
( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:38, closed)

Im a vegan
"but only sometimes". Idiot.
(lemonadegame, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:35, closed)

^What she said^
In essence "I'm desperate to feel righteous and superior to everyone so I'm a picky eater."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 8:50, closed)

^This^

( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:00, closed)

I hardly think one pizza a year makes a difference in the long run.
Besides, at least I'm not one of those bastards who'll bitch and moan at you for eating meat as if it's some sort of moral obligation to not do so. I become a fat bastard if I eat meat, so I don't. I'd rather not have a heart attack if I can avoid it. Doesn't make me better than anyone. Shit, Hitler was insanely anal about his vegetarian diet, so next time you have some wanker going on about how, "People who don't eat meat are kinder, and better humans..." or some such, mention that.
( Ithyphallophobia, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:07, closed)

How does eating a bit of meat make you fat?

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, closed)

Because of all the crap that it let's me eat. When I ate an omnivorous diet, I weighed somewhere around 240lbs, but when I cut out meat and dairy, I came down to 140lbs, which is a much better weight for someone my size (5'8"). In other words, I did something about my problem instead of just bitching and moaning on the internet about how fat I am.

Maybe it's just a lack of self-control, or maybe I had some weird metabolism, beats me. This is easier for me than working out four hours a day so that I can eat meat and stay in shape, which I don't have time for. Besides, I was only big on shrimp and crab, so it's no huge loss for me that I can't eat steak. To each his own though, I won't give anyone shit about their diet, provided they'll do me the same favour.
( Ithyphallophobia, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 2:12, closed)

You should've just eaten it, I don't think a fly counts as meat.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 9:17, closed)

I once had a serious conversation about whether oral sex was vegan
Jesus titty-fucking christ, we must have been stoned!

It all stemmed from the expression "beef curtains", if I remember correctly
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 10:10, closed)

I'm pretty sure I've had this conversation, too.
I think the conclusion was that it's okay as long as you don't swallow.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:09, closed)