Little VictoriesI recently received a £2 voucher from a supermarket after complaining vociferously about the poor quality of their own-brand Rich Tea biscuits, which I spent on more tasty, tasty biscuits. Tell us about your trivial victories that have made life a tiny bit better.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 12:07)
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P.E.Twas in Primary School, aged 9. We were on the pitch (the one next to the Mere) playing footie as part of our P.E. 'lesson'. Mr Bevan was the commander in chief; the strict, focussed, rigid-browed type who was reknowned as the kind of teacher who hated his job, hated kids and who'd generally had a bad run of things in his later years. That day, things had particularly hit the fan for him for reasons he evidently kept to himself.
I was in goal.
Mr Bevan was 'playing' for the other team, who were losing. I wasn't a particularly good goal-keeper; was more of a defender really. The ball pounced from one side to the other. You could tell Mr Bevan was getting more than a little peeved at playing for a losing team. Then the moment came.. the ball bounced graciously towards him, rising perfectly before he decided to slam it with utmost certainty at the goal. It HAD to go in.
Only, it didn't. Because it slammed with full, adult force against my little chest, pushing me all of TWO FULL FEET accross the ground, but stil not enough to make a goal. I clasped the ball with all my might. And watched as he looked in disbelief, turning around and brushing it off as some fluke of mine.
I clutched that ball for about 20 seconds, revelling in my small victory. At that young age, they rarely come sweeter than that.
(, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:01, 1 reply)
Our PE wankerwas called Mr Doyle. He was only young, a year out of college I'd guess. First job, teaching 7 year olds.
We were playing football at the park, a penalty was incurred by one of the teams.
Doyle rather grandly announced that he'd take it, show us how it was done. Dude, we're 7, we don't fucking care . . but anyway.
So he lines it up, takes a small run up, rolls his foot over the top of the ball, and manages to move himself about 3 feet further than he moved the ball, landing on his arse in the mud.
Looking back on it as an adult, he might have got away with it had he reacted in another way. The fact he jumped up and told us all to stop laughing sealed his fate. At 7 years old I would have had no idea what the word cunt meant, but I knew he was one.
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Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 11:16,
closed)
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