i'm from banstead
we had our fair share thanks to the care in the community program relatively recently shutting down our sizeable mental home.
Lets see, from the top:
There was jesus man, walked around all the local town centres in a white suit, had very long hair and beard, didn't wear shoes, attracted and talked to pigons. Would preach to anyone who stopped to listen, was rumoured to hand out money if you asked, but no one *I* knew was mean enough to find out.
There was karate man, forever wandering the same route along a couple of busy roads, god knows where it started and finished. Wore a luminous orange tracksuit, occasionally performed a fairly impressive kung-fu move on the air in front of him. Only ever seen from cars, so no one knows what he's like.
There was the bag man, wandered up and down a stretch of the local main road with a bike wrapped in plasic bags, wore them on his feet and put one on his head when it rained. Had pockets stuffed with them. Big, big, silly hair. Rumoured to live in a small shack in the woods we saw him go into once or twice.
There was (the most popular of all) sorry-to-bother-you man. Tottered down sutton high street singing hymns, shouted "sorry to bother you" at everyone (and i mean everyone) he saw, repeatedly when people stopped anywhere near him. Only one line of his songs sticks with me, because it was the only one i didn't recognise from any hymn i know. The line was "it's fantastic to be a spastic". Once i was walking home, heard him singing, turned and saw he was a good 50 metres behind me, turned again less then 10 secconds later, he was still walking at his slow pace but about 3 paces behind me. Worrying.
Then theres water man. Must have been at least 60, he just wandered up and down sutton high street every day wearing the same white tank top and black shorts, carrying a barrel of water on his back almost as big as him, with a straw leading to his mouth. No one knows anyhing about him.
Oh, and of course the peculiar mumbling man, he'd stand behind you in a shop queue and mumble in a steady, rythmic way, twitching occasionally, and then wander off once you reached the front of the queue.
( Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:20, Reply)