Lying to the other half about losing it...
You know what I mean.

When she goes out and you have a warm bubble bath, twist a towel around your wet hair, snuggle up on the sofa under a blanket, get a bottle of Lambrini and a nice box of chocolates out, put on your favourite Sex and the City DVD and just have a damn good laugh. Sometimes you may paint your nails or try a bit of her blusher and mascara on.

Then when she comes home early and catches you, you have to pretend you’re having a breakdown. You start sobbing and rocking; mascara smearing your freshly blushed cheeks, saying you’re not sure what is wrong with you at the moment but you’ll sort yourself out.


Just me then?
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 11:22, 4 replies)

its called bingo night
dont worry
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 12:44, closed)

Yep, just you.
:)
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 14:38, closed)

Either you're a lesbian
Or an ex-public schoolboy. Either way, it's perfectly normal - don't worry yourself about it.

Can I borrow some mascara?
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:22, closed)

Yeah course
I actually said to my girlfried, "What do you want for your birthday you fat cow?".

She said "Dont't get fucking lippy".

So I bought her mascara instead. I have some spare.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:40, closed)