Lunching perhaps too well
Secondhand, so probably somewhat exaggerated, but it's a story my old boss told me, and knowing him quite well, it rings true, so here goes.

Him and his mate had a competitive relationship, where they'd constantly be goading each other in the office about who was fitter, who had the better car, who could drink most, etc. One Friday, they had a quiet afternoon so they headed out for a curry together. It all got a bit competitive and his mate (whose name I don't actually know but let's call him Bob), challenges him to eat the hottest curry on the menu. They both order the vindaloo accompanied by pints. Then another pint, and another, and another, and another.

After finishing the meal, Bob reckons Dave is done, and bets him he can't have another pint. So they have another pint, and another pint, and another pint...

By this time, it's about half past four, so they've got to negotiate the discreet walk back into the office without attracting attention, which is going to be difficult because they're both pissed as newts, and Bob is giggling like a loon. Dave walks in first, and sits down at his desk, immediately beginning to fumble purposefully with some paper, and try to look busy.

Bob walks in a minute later, and heads to his own desk. He then steps on his chair, steps up onto the desk, and shouts 'Dave! I reckon we're going to have to settle this whole thing properly. Who's got the biggest cock?', at which he drops his trousers and pants and spreads his arms, inviting the assembled colleagues to inspect his meat and two veg.

At this point, the PA shoots out of her seat, rounds the desk, and sprints across the room at full pelt, before executing a perfect rugby tackle that takes Bob clear off the desk and onto the floor a good few feet below, causing him to start throwing up lagery, semi-digested vindaloo all over the carpet.

Bob didn't work there anymore, but the PA had been promoted.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 15:05, Reply)