Panic
I don't really remember all the details, but I went to school with this seriously posh kid who lived in a country house full of antiques and heirlooms. One weekend his parents went away, so he decided to have a party - basically we ended up doing Massive Drugs, and when we woke up the entire place was absolutely trashed. After laughing at Hugo pissing himself with raw, unadulterated panic for a couple of minutes, we all got stuck into tidying up. Kim and Aggie would have been impressed by our skill and industriousness, and we thought we were going to pull it off until somebody noticed a massive fucking scratch in this really fancy coffee table. Luckily though, we managed to find somebody in the phone book who magically restored it to new, but just at the last minute before his parents arrived home, Hugo noticed that somebody had drawn a moustache on a great big oil painting. Can't remember what happened after that though - must have been the Massive Drugs.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:07, 5 replies)

the man who fixed the table
was his name J.R. Hartley?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:17, closed)

Hahahaha good work!
I'll wager you used the Yellow Pages to find a "French Polisher", you saucy thing.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:20, closed)

But now you're famous..
You're Max Branning off of Eastenders.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:44, closed)

That's my all-time favourite advert
Just because it's an entire story told in 30 seconds. Superb film-making.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:45, closed)

it wasn't until I re-watched that I realised how much I used to hate the kid in that.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcR6AQEbEdY
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 15:54, closed)