The missus
was with child... our first.... and she'd been pissing her pants all day, but was 4 weeks early for the delivery date. So we trots off to hospital and we see a midwife. The midwife has a poke around and says to the wife "we're going to have to section you".

Now we both looks at each other, and admittedly we didn't and don't know much about baby delivery, but the wife said to me through tears "I'm having a baby NOT fucking mental!".

About half hour later of worry and planning how to do a runner, another midwife explains they meant a "C-Section".

"Oh.. that's ok then. Hack away!"
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)