I had external haemorrhoids.
They're like the normal kind but kind of half-in, half-out, bigger than you'd think possible, and extremely painful. I could barely walk, sit or cough. I saw my doctor, who referred me to the hospital to have them lanced.

It was a fairly quick (but humiliating) procedure done under local anaesthetic, with students observing. There was no pain, but I could feel everything. My lasting memory was the surgeon saying, 'Right... now I'm going to put my finger right inside your bottom...' and 'This scalpel's the wrong size - pass me one of the brown ones.'

When he'd finished he said, 'Well, I must say you're a braver man than me.'

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'Well, when I had these I just sat them out. Waited for them to go away by themselves.'

No one had ever told me that was an option.
( teedyay, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 17:30, Reply)