Missing body parts
Now there are some bits of your body you don't mind losing - my dad's just got rid of a kidney stone, my own tonsils once tried to asphyxiate me, and nobody wants warts.
Other bits are more useful - a family friend recently lost an arm... which would be OK if his job wasn't managing dis-armament talks.
What have you lost, and where did you leave it?
( , Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:22)
Now there are some bits of your body you don't mind losing - my dad's just got rid of a kidney stone, my own tonsils once tried to asphyxiate me, and nobody wants warts.
Other bits are more useful - a family friend recently lost an arm... which would be OK if his job wasn't managing dis-armament talks.
What have you lost, and where did you leave it?
( , Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:22)
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oh yes
A bit of my ear came off once when I fell off my bicycle riding down a hill blind drunk.
There are lots of elements to this story, including me shouting incredulously to a foreign cleaner in a geriatric ward that she needed to sew my ear back on AT ONCE!
But the main part was that when I eventually found Casualty and was being seen to, the Doctor got a needle stick, and said she needed to ask me some questions. She asked my profession and, hilariously, I replied "rent boy". She said "this is serious" and I told her "don't worry I'm a high class hooker, my blood is clean as a whistle, you won't get the AIDS or anything".
When I went to have the stitches out a few weeks later, sober and ashamed, they said "you're not Browser are you?". I replied that I was, and that I was surprised they knew my name, given that I was a day early for my appointment. The nurse said "so you're a prostitute then?" and I replied in the negative; "I work in publishing".
"Well" she replied "I've got prostitute down here on your medical record so I'm afraid you're stuck with that now. Ah well at least you are 'high class'". How they all laughed.
If I'm in an accident please tell my mother my medical records are inaccurate.
Apologies for length (OF MY PENIS!!!!)
( , Fri 2 Jun 2006, 16:11, Reply)
A bit of my ear came off once when I fell off my bicycle riding down a hill blind drunk.
There are lots of elements to this story, including me shouting incredulously to a foreign cleaner in a geriatric ward that she needed to sew my ear back on AT ONCE!
But the main part was that when I eventually found Casualty and was being seen to, the Doctor got a needle stick, and said she needed to ask me some questions. She asked my profession and, hilariously, I replied "rent boy". She said "this is serious" and I told her "don't worry I'm a high class hooker, my blood is clean as a whistle, you won't get the AIDS or anything".
When I went to have the stitches out a few weeks later, sober and ashamed, they said "you're not Browser are you?". I replied that I was, and that I was surprised they knew my name, given that I was a day early for my appointment. The nurse said "so you're a prostitute then?" and I replied in the negative; "I work in publishing".
"Well" she replied "I've got prostitute down here on your medical record so I'm afraid you're stuck with that now. Ah well at least you are 'high class'". How they all laughed.
If I'm in an accident please tell my mother my medical records are inaccurate.
Apologies for length (OF MY PENIS!!!!)
( , Fri 2 Jun 2006, 16:11, Reply)
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